I Don’t Have It All Together (And Why That’s The Point)

I think one of the biggest myths about being a coach, a leader, or just someone people look up to is that you’re supposed to have it all together. Perfect routines. Perfect boundaries. Perfect mindset.

But here’s the truth: I don’t. And honestly? That’s the point.

The myth of “togetherness”

We’re sold this image that growth means everything in your life suddenly clicks into place. Your mornings are calm, your house is spotless, your relationships are smooth, your work is thriving. But that’s not how real life works.

Real life is messy. You can be growing in one area and struggling in another. You can set boundaries like a pro but still forget to drink water. You can be deeply self-aware and still snap at someone you love.

Having it “all together” is an illusion and chasing it only leads to shame when you realize no one actually lives that way.

Why I stopped pretending

For a long time, I felt pressure to look like I had my life neatly packaged, especially as a coach. I thought if people saw my struggles, they’d question my credibility. So I hid the mess.

But the more I worked with clients (and the more I grew myself), the more I realized something: my imperfections are what make me relatable. They’re what remind people I’m human, not some unattainable ideal.

If I only showed the highlight reel, no one would trust me. Because no one actually lives that way.

The freedom of being honest

Here’s what happens when you stop pretending:

• You release the pressure to be perfect, which frees up energy for actual growth.

• You give others permission to be human too, which is the most supportive thing you can offer.

• You see progress more clearly, because you’re not comparing yourself to a fake version of “success.”

When I admit I don’t have it all together, I’m not failing. I’m being real. And real is what actually helps people.

What “not having it all together” looks like for me

• Some days my self-care looks like meditation. Other days it looks like scrolling TikTok in bed.

• I coach people on boundaries, but sometimes I still say “yes” when I mean “no.”

• I teach productivity, but I also procrastinate (usually with laundry).

• I know better than to overcommit, but sometimes I still do.

And you know what? That’s okay. My humanness doesn’t disqualify me. It deepens my understanding of what my clients are living through too.

The point

Not having it all together isn’t proof that you’re failing. It’s proof that you’re alive, learning, growing, and messy like every single one of us.

The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is presence. To be in your life as it is, not waiting until it’s flawless to start enjoying it.

👉 So if you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t have it all together either,” take a breath. You’re not supposed to. That’s not the point. The point is to keep showing up, messy and real, and let that be enough.