You’re not cursed. You’re just accidentally proving yourself right.

Ever notice how life sometimes feels like it’s out to prove you right about the worst things you believe about yourself?

• You fear people will abandon you… and then they do.

• You fear you’re not good enough… and you get passed over for the promotion.

• You fear no one really listens… and somehow, everyone talks over you at dinner.

Feels personal, doesn’t it?Like the universe is targeting you.

Here’s the truth: It’s not fate. It’s your brain.

The Two Forces at Play

Confirmation Bias:

Your brain loves to be right. Even about painful things.If you believe “I’m not wanted,” your brain will:

Notice every tiny sign of rejection

Ignore evidence of belonging

Interpret neutral situations as proof you’re unwanted

Nervous System Programming

If your body is used to chaos, rejection, or neglect, it will gravitate toward familiar patterns — even if they hurt. Because familiar = safe to your nervous system, not good.

Put those together?

You end up unconsciously scanning for, and stepping into, situations that match your worst fears.

Not because you want them, but because they fit the script you’ve been running for years.

Here’s How to Interrupt It: The “Evidence Flip” Exercise

This is something I teach my coaching clients when they keep replaying painful cycles.

Step 1 — Name the Fear

Example: “People always leave me.”

Step 2 — Spot the Bias

Ask: “How am I interpreting things to keep this fear alive?”Example: “I focus on the one friend who canceled instead of the five who showed up.”

Step 3 — Collect Opposite Evidence

For one week, track only moments that contradict the fear.Example: “My coworker saved me a seat. My partner texted me first. My friend rescheduled instead of ghosting.”

Step 4 — Anchor It in Your Body

When you notice opposite evidence, pause and actually feel it: unclench your jaw, breathe, let your shoulders drop. This rewires your nervous system to treat the new pattern as safe.

Here’s the wild part:

You don’t have to “think positive” 24/7.

You just have to disrupt the autopilot that’s looking for pain in every room you walk into.

This is deep work. It’s not instant. But it’s the kind of shift that changes everything:

your relationships, your confidence, your opportunities.

If you’re ready to stop repeating the same old patterns and start building a life that doesn’t feel like a constant test…

✨ Book a clarity call and let’s reprogram the script you’ve been living on repeat.